Special Report -- Here's why I should start my own bank:
I appear very trustworthy and can project an image of calm reassurance that I combine with the illusion of giving a rat's ass.
You should see me when I'm wearing a suit jacket and without my body jewelry. Seriously, you won't know whether or not I mean what I say! If the bank venture doesn't work out I can apply my faux social skills to the restaurant or hotel industries.
Special Report -- I can almost hear your yipping and growling, but deal with this truth:
Special Report --
Editor's note: Bob C. is
Special Report -- I think about food too much. I know I do. I acquired the tendency honestly.
Special Report -- You may not believe it, but I detest being right all the time. The world hasn't ended in a dramatic Hollywood B-movie cataclysm, but the Apocalypse is imminent just the same. I know where to look.
Special Report -- I look pretty hell-damn good.







