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Graphic Artists Edited by Recession, Nepotism

Springfield, IL -- Investment bankers and automobile factory workers are not the only wage slaves feeling the pinch of a souring economy.

In the most blatant demonstration of corporate desperation and cost-cutting so far, graphic artists and designers are being kicked to the curb. Their numbers are increasing daily.

"CEOs and managers used to doodle concepts on napkins and Post-it notes and send them to the art department for refinement," said panic-decision expert Norm Delahaye. "Nowadays, the original thumbnail sketches are simply scanned and published -- with no apologies and no regrets."

"An art degree and five dollars will buy you a cup of coffee at Starbucks," Mr. Delahaye continued, "which is where a lot of displaced visual stylists are going to end up working."

Window of Opportunism

Special Report -- I'm not religious. As far as I'm concerned, everything turns to dust sooner or later. Redemption should be found in one's own natural lifetime. I think.

It's not like I lack a moral center though. I know right from wrong. Life is not about accumulating poker chips of goodwill and waiting to cash them in on Judgment Day. Spend your winnings now, and wisely.

We live in the Pre-Post-Apocalyptic Era. Is the End of Days coming? Is it happening now? Pick a theory and there is probably evidence to support it -- the same clues often validate coincident yet contrary points of view. No shit.

I diligently monitor world events, looking for indicators that fit together into the delicate puzzle that will reveal Armageddon's time, date, and zip code. My research is not a hobby, unless by "hobby" you mean "freakish obsession." If I painted my analyses onto grains of rice -- now that would be a hobby.

Obama: New Yorker Cover Real After All

New York, NY -- Democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama withdrew his initial criticism of The New Yorker magazine's controversial front cover illustration featuring the Senator and his wife Michelle.

Within an hour of the July 16th issue's release, Mr. Obama's staff had released a vitriolic protest of the caricature produced by Canadian-born cartoonist Barry Blitt, but the campaign's harsh words were soon recanted.

"The Senator's outrage was entirely understandable," said Mr. Obama's communications director Bill Burton. "He simply didn't expect anything like that to come from such a normally left-leaning source. Then he talked to Mrs. Obama and they agreed The New Yorker pretty much nailed it."

"However," Mr. Burton continued, "at no time or under any circumstance has Senator Obama ever consumed a human infant. He is not a baby-eater."