Palin Better Qualified to Handle Fashion Crisis
Philadelphia, PA -- GOP vice presidential nominee Governor Sarah Palin came under fire Tuesday after the disclosure of Republican National Committee receipts detailing lavish spending sprees on her hair, makeup, and haute couture.
The bills paid by the RNC total approximately $150,000 -- an unprecedented amount for any Republican candidate to budget for fancy clothing and cosmetics, although political-fashion experts argue that a Mitt Romney White House bid would probably rack up at least twice as much on a weekly basis.
RNC spokesbuyer Maria Comella refused to comment on the report's details, although she reaffirmed the McCain campaign's commitment to a strong, stylish America and described Ms. Palin's look as "bitchin'."
The GOP is clearly tapping into a societal predisposition to dress-up Barbie, although most old white male Republicans mentally undress Alaska's popular populist governor.
Presidential candidate Senator John McCain maintains he is unconcerned by the high-rolling purchases.
"I didn't blink an eye when Cindy told me the ensemble she wore the first night of the Republican convention cost $300,000," Mr. McCain told reporters while changing a flat tire on his Straight Talk Express tour bus. "My friends, I have learned to ignore those kinds of economic issues."
Mr. McCain's public-financed war chest continues to dwindle, potentially compelling Ms. Palin to shop for lipstick and high heels at K-Mart instead of Saks Fifth Avenue, Barneys, Neiman-Marcus, and Bloomingdales. In comparison, Democratic Senator Barack Obama's campaign reported its fundraising exceeded a zillion dollars in September.
On the stump, a plucky Ms. Palin has derided Mr. Obama and his VP running mate Senator Joe Biden for what she describes as their "unpatriotic" and "naive, reckless" lack of fashion sense.
"Just think -- our obviously inexperienced opponents would agree to sit down with world leaders without any preconditions," the cheeky hockey pit bull told supporters in north suburban Philadelphia. "Sounds to me like those two guys would also wear white after Labor Day, or even black shoes and a brown belt! Say it ain't so, Joe!"
Ms. Palin faces new scrutiny for charging the State of Alaska for airline and hotel expenses incurred while she traveled on official business but brought her children along.
State records were hastily amended following Ms. Palin's surprise call-up to the political major leagues, and the edited documents now describe visits to Mexican, Italian, and Chinese restaurants in Anchorage and Juneau as "diplomatic in nature" and "foreign policy-driven."
