Poll: Cindy McCain Hotter than Michelle Obama?
Washington, DC -- Presumptive Democratic nominee Senator Barack Obama continues to consolidate the support of vanquished rival Senator Hillary Clinton, while Mr. Obama's likely Republican challenger Senator John McCain is not getting any younger.
An unpopular war in Iraq, the imploding U.S. economy, rising food and fuel prices, and concerns about Angelina Jolie's imminent delivery of twins have all dominated the ramp-up to November's presidential contest, but Americans are finally speaking out about the core issues that affect their daily lives.
A poll released Wednesday offers new evidence of a tightening 2008 White House race, with the candidates' wives currently running in a statistical dead heat—an indication this year's election could be decided by the public's opinion about whichever prospective First Lady is the hottest.
Michelle Obama, the younger of the two women, has already been likened to Jacqueline Kennedy in terms of grace, intelligence, articulation, and young hotness. Cindy McCain, although considerably older than Mrs. Obama, possesses an alluring combination of business acumen and sophisticated beauty that has captured the imagination of lonely men who spend their time searching for sexy images on the Internet.
"Obama's wife has that smart, savvy, Sex and the City yuppie thing going on," according to corporate attorney Neil Trebuchet of Albany, NY. "If I ever have a shot at her it'll be two minutes of paradise, I'm telling you."
"Cindy McCain is an ice princess, tough as nails," said semi-professional porn surfer Reese Daly of San Dimas, CA, "but beneath that cool, aristocratic exterior must surely reside an icy, tough interior. It drives me crazy, just—you know—wondering."
"She'd definitely be the hottest First Lady since Rosalynn Carter," Mr. Daly continued. "Man, I'd hit that, too."
Wednesday's New York Daily Wall Street Post Times Journal survey confirmed voters are as evenly divided in their First Lady preferences as they are for President.
Nearly 39% of 1,728 participating males chose Mrs. McCain as the most appealing, with 38% selecting Mrs. Obama. 10% declared themselves undecided, and 8% preferred a three-way. The remaining 5% found Mr. Obama sexier.
Washington, DC media communications think tank Marketing Insights for Liberated Females (MILF) criticized the poll for being "statistically flawed" and "out of touch with true hotness" while applauding the overall results' "credibly realistic dehumanization."
"Men think they want a First Lady who has a history of lurid, provocative photos, like she's a pro athlete's wife or something," said MILF's Associate Director Dr. Louise Graebener, "but they'll settle for badly Photoshopped fakes, no problem."
