Samantha Power Breaks US Career Downhill Record
Crans-Montana, Switzerland -- In a masterful demonstration of how to slide down a slippery slope, Obama campaign advisor Samantha Power smashed the career downhill records of superstars Picabo Street, Lindsey Vonn, and Rush Limbaugh.
Saturday's stunning achievement was only the latest from Ms. Power, a Harvard professor, Time Magazine columnist, and Pulitzer Prize-winning author. Her eligibility to compete had been in doubt following a controversial interview earlier this week with the radical and virulently anti-American newspaper The Scotsman.
"I have been repeatedly misquoted—even my apologies," Ms. Power said following her victory Saturday morning. "What I meant to say was I am sorry Senator Hillary Clinton is a monster."
The highly educated and randomly articulate Power has complained that her Caroline Kennedy-esque hotness is often a distraction from the true intent of the message she is trying to convey, and obscures her political and academic accomplishments.
"The key is to attack the jumps," said the Irish-born foreign policy specialist. "Nothing equals the rush you get from being in a freefall."
"I still have lot of fight left in me and each day brings a new challenge." Ms. Power added. "The fat lady hasn't sung yet, that's for sure."
Within minutes of Ms. Power's "fat lady" remark, Clinton campaign chairman Terry McAuliffe emailed a donation appeal to 16.5 million prospective Democratic contributors.
"Barack Obama's people must be taught there is a price to be paid for slanderous or prurient remarks about our candidate," Mr. McAuliffe wrote. "In this particular case, the price is $5 per supporter. This is a great bargain when compared to the $25 cost of the Senate-floor cleavage episode last year. Thank you and have a nice day."
